There are days where you just want to rant. Rant about unnecessary things in life, all the unfairness, all the struggle, all the wishes. You know you shouldn’t talk about such things because you know you have more than what others have. But it just happens to be in the back of your mind. You feel as if.. If you told someone about the problems you may have, that person would see you differently. You may feel as if that person will see you as a selfish person, and that you just try to make excuses for the better. That vulnerability that we have is just locked inside until we can’t hold it in much longer.If you’re still reading for some unknown reason, this is probably where I’ll be writing negatively from now on for this post and only this post. I just want to express myself to get it out of my system. And for those who know me well, I’m usually an optimistic person. But you have to understand that there are days of negativity that just bottles up somewhere. Anyway-
This is probably where I broke… But who can I talk to? This social media? It’s the closest I can get to releasing my thoughts without someone judging me to the point of seeing me differently than who I am now.
I’m scared. Quite honestly, I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m being stupid, being selfish, and maybe doing things for the wrong reasons.
There are days where I question myself. Am I a good friend? Do I deserve this? Maybe I deserve more? I thought I was a good person, maybe I’m just annoying. No one tells me. Birthdays are just days right? But why do I wish for more?
I’m sorry to those I may have mistreated. I don’t know what may have bugged you about me, and I know some of you are being nice when I am just annoying or too much to handle. But thank you for being around me and hiding what you had felt. I’d rather keep the memory of thinking people who I thought were friends are friends.